It's not that I COULDN'T do this...it was more like I didn't want to. This has been particularly hard for me...and I'm only a few days into it. This is even more difficult than the Lord asking me to give up coffee 4 years ago for Lent. I thought that would kill me, but it didn't. This won't either...I know it. Truth be told though, I really didn't feel like listening to His request. Which is probably why it took me three days into Lent to give in. I was resistant. Then I gave in, and rather begrudgingly decided to go forward with wearing no make up for the rest of Lent. I did it with no joy, a bad attitude, and quite honestly, rather frustrated and upset about it. I really did not want to do this. I did not want people to see me without make up on. AT. ALL. In fact, earlier today, and yesterday, I thought to myself, How many more days until Lent is over?! I was almost even tempted to count the days until I could start to wear make up again. What a great attitude I had. The usually quick to obey Jesus me was nowhere to be found. I sometimes think that I obey Him when it is convenient for me and sorry Jesus, this is just not convenient for me. Try again Meg. Obedience often does not mean convenience and quite often means sacrifice.
But then today, something rather interesting happened. The Lord began to change my attitude. He began to remove some of my selfishness and self-consciousness and focus on the people around me. He slowly began to open my eyes to things around me. He also gently spoke to my heart, telling me that a beautiful spirit was worth much more than a beautiful exterior. This was only temporary that He was asking me to do this, and I needed a different attitude. To really focus on having a tender, caring, beautiful heart before Him. To focus more on OTHERS externally rather than how I look externally. By the time I had gotten to the gym and I was working out, listening to music, I felt His presence so strongly I had such a sweet worship time with Him even among all the other things going on in there.
Today Bobbi commented on how I wasn't wearing any make up and I told her I gave it up for Lent and kind-of why. I also shared with her how hard it was for me...she said to me, "Megan! You have a beautiful face!" I just don't see that. I say none of the things here to make myself sound awesome, because trust me, I'm not. I'm just another broken, sinful person trying to find her way and serve a perfect, amazing God. I'm just simply sharing my attitudes and how Jesus is working in me.
I hope and pray that He will inspire you as well to have a beautiful inside. The inside is far more important. And I'll continue to share my struggles and successes with the Lord over Lent. I think this is going to be awesome.
In Christ,
Meg
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