I had always thought I didn't want to know the gender of the baby when I was going to end up having kids, but we did decide to find out. (Dan didn't care either way haha!) So we found out baby is a girl! And let me tell you - she loves to move! A lot. Which is not surprising, since Dan and I are very busy, active people. But it will be interesting to see what she is like when she arrives. We are also not all about the pink. The room is a light green color, and we are going with chocolate brown, oranges, yellows, greens, blues...some red...And most of the clothes that I have gotten for her are not pink. Yes, there is some pink, but most of the colors are blues, purples, reds, greens, yellows...I love color, so I guess it makes sense I would pick stuff that is a variety. We are keeping her name a secret for sure though. :)
I am very excited to meet her. Being pregnant hasn't been that bad - I have had a pretty easy pregnancy compared to others. However, there are things that I am looking forward to being done with. Like the fact that I have a giant belly (Or anyway I feel like I do). The fact that I can't drink coffee without feeling like I am either going to pass out from an anxiety attack or like I am going to throw up. Caffeine is just too much for my body right now (sometime the middle of March some switch flipped in my brain and I wanted nothing to do with coffee). The fact also that my back starts to hurt really bad after I sit in one spot too long, or sit on something not firm enough for too long, or if I am in the car longer than 30 minutes. Also, the fact that I am even more sensitive to stuff than I was before - oddly enough, some dairy has been ok, but corn? Corn is like death. It is all worth it for sure though. And I am very grateful to God that this has all gone so well. I honestly never knew what to expect. This is clearly all God ordained, and He deserves all the praise!!
The last week and a half has caught me stopping and thinking to myself, "What?!?...am I really going to be a MOM?!!" at least half a dozen times in a day. Ironically enough it doesn't seem real half the time. As if the big belly and kicks from baby don't make it real. Ha. But this is real. This little person is going to depend on Dan and I...for a long time.
Am I ready? Well, let's be honest. Are you really ever ready for anything?? To get married? Have kids? Start a job?? You may tell yourself you are ready and feel ready, but in all honesty, there is always that air of unknown...so I don't believe you are ever fully ready for anything. I have days when I am like, "Stay in there for as long as possible". Then there are other days when I just want her here to see what she is like, what she looks like, and begin to dive into this whole new adventure of parenting. Sometimes the longer I wonder and think about something, the more I just want it to be over so I can begin to tackle it and start learning! This is no different.
Life will for sure be different, but I am also looking forward to it. This little peanut is such a gift from the Lord.
But wow. I am really going to be a mom. I think I need to really let that soak in. Because it's huge. It still doesn't always seem real. As long as the Lord is with us, we will be ok. And let me tell you, He is Who we will be leaning on. For all things.
In Christ and with love,
Meg
