Dear Ruthie,
When you are in your little chair and you look up at me with your sweet little eyes, your eyes of innocence and love, my heart melts. When you are smiling and cooing at me and pretending to be shy I catch my breath... This will only last but a moment. When you are crying and nothing your dad or I can do consoles you my heart breaks - I so wish I could make everything ok (or know what was wrong). My sweet baby girl, I love you with all my heart. I always will. Even if I get frustrated and discouraged at times with your crying...with not knowing what to do. I would give you my heart if you needed it. I am so grateful to God that you are healthy. I am so grateful He gave you to us. I am sure He has an amazing plan for your life. I look forward to seeing what that is. You are already one of my best friends and I cherish moments with you. When it is quiet and it is just you and I in the morning and I am feeding you. When you are cooing on the changing table while I change your diaper. When you fall asleep in my arms. You are my joy. I adore you and praise our great God for the gift of you.
Love Always,
Mommy
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Monday, January 12, 2015
Dear Ruthie...
Dear Ruthie,
I wish I could tell you what you mean to me. I wish I could make you understand the incredible gift you are to your dad and I. I see a beautiful, precious creation made by God, one we were gifted with and entrusted with to care for. I hope and pray daily that I do Him well by being your mom. That I can teach you about Him, His grace and about Jesus. That you will put your hope and trust in Jesus, love Him, follow Him, serve Him and teach others about Him.
Please have some grace for your dad and I. We try so hard, but we are not perfect and often fail and screw up and don't know what to do and this will probably go on your entire life. Just know that even in the middle of our mistakes and failures we truly desire to love you well and want what is best for you....even if you may not see it that way. We realize you will grow, change and develop your own opinions but we really do hope and pray that you will come to us with everything.
In these first two months of your life I have cried, laughed, gotten mad, felt lost and confused and loved you more fiercely than I thought possible. I have learned to be more patient, more selfless and to slow down. Thank you for teaching me that. I have so much to learn from you. I am already delighting to see you growing, changing, exploring and figuring out this world we live in. But it also grieves my heart knowing that you will all too soon be 18 and heading out the door into the real world. So I want to cherish these moments as much as possible. Having you was like God taking my heart and having it walk around outside of myself.
Do not ever forget how much we love you and are here for you. Even more importantly how much God loves you and is there for you. Keep on growing honey, but not too fast.... And always remember that even when you are 30, you will be my little girl.
Love Always with all my heart,
Mom
I wish I could tell you what you mean to me. I wish I could make you understand the incredible gift you are to your dad and I. I see a beautiful, precious creation made by God, one we were gifted with and entrusted with to care for. I hope and pray daily that I do Him well by being your mom. That I can teach you about Him, His grace and about Jesus. That you will put your hope and trust in Jesus, love Him, follow Him, serve Him and teach others about Him.
Please have some grace for your dad and I. We try so hard, but we are not perfect and often fail and screw up and don't know what to do and this will probably go on your entire life. Just know that even in the middle of our mistakes and failures we truly desire to love you well and want what is best for you....even if you may not see it that way. We realize you will grow, change and develop your own opinions but we really do hope and pray that you will come to us with everything.
In these first two months of your life I have cried, laughed, gotten mad, felt lost and confused and loved you more fiercely than I thought possible. I have learned to be more patient, more selfless and to slow down. Thank you for teaching me that. I have so much to learn from you. I am already delighting to see you growing, changing, exploring and figuring out this world we live in. But it also grieves my heart knowing that you will all too soon be 18 and heading out the door into the real world. So I want to cherish these moments as much as possible. Having you was like God taking my heart and having it walk around outside of myself.
Do not ever forget how much we love you and are here for you. Even more importantly how much God loves you and is there for you. Keep on growing honey, but not too fast.... And always remember that even when you are 30, you will be my little girl.
Love Always with all my heart,
Mom
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Welcome to the Circus
This has been my favorite phrase the last month and a half. A MONTH AND A HALF!! Our little peanut is over a month old already.
Now, I would like to tell you that everything has been just wonderful, gone smoothly and we have had no moments of confusion, crying or struggle...but then I would be lying. The last month and a half has been both the best and worst of my life.
The things they never tell you. Oh sure, you are warned about hormonal shifts, but you just don't know how bad the hormonal shifts are until you are going through it. I cried every day for the first two weeks. And the tears were not always because I was depressed or overwhelmed. They were tears of joy, tears of love for this little being God gave us, too. But there were also the tears because I was overwhelmed, didn't know what to do, wished she would stop crying.
I have literally felt like we were a circus half the time. I started out with ideas about stuff - "We are going to be on a schedule!" Yeah, no. Now that she is over a month old, we are going to try to get on some sort of schedule a bit more, but that first month she needed love..she needed to bond with us. Now, I did not hold her every second of every day, but I tried to hold her when I could. To talk to her as much as I could. The reward has been smiles and coos. I love to see her smile and coo.
We are beginning to work on teaching her to fall asleep on her own. The first night was awful. She wouldn't settle down. We had to go in every five minutes for almost an hour. Last night was better and I am hoping that she will continue to do well with this. I only want the best for her.
I have never leaned on Jesus as much as I have the last month and a half. I think God gave her to us to show me how much I needed Him and to be focused on Him and cling to Him. I am ok with that, too. It is all part of the purification process. Apparently I had a lot more purifying to be done.
It is now a brand new year, a brand new start. I don't like resolutions, nor do I intend to make any. I saw on another blog I follow that she picks a word - I think I will do that. I will figure out a word for my year - one that I can focus on in a positive way. The only other thing I desire for this year is a closer walk with Jesus. Hope you all have a happy and blessed 2015.
Now, I would like to tell you that everything has been just wonderful, gone smoothly and we have had no moments of confusion, crying or struggle...but then I would be lying. The last month and a half has been both the best and worst of my life.
The things they never tell you. Oh sure, you are warned about hormonal shifts, but you just don't know how bad the hormonal shifts are until you are going through it. I cried every day for the first two weeks. And the tears were not always because I was depressed or overwhelmed. They were tears of joy, tears of love for this little being God gave us, too. But there were also the tears because I was overwhelmed, didn't know what to do, wished she would stop crying.
I have literally felt like we were a circus half the time. I started out with ideas about stuff - "We are going to be on a schedule!" Yeah, no. Now that she is over a month old, we are going to try to get on some sort of schedule a bit more, but that first month she needed love..she needed to bond with us. Now, I did not hold her every second of every day, but I tried to hold her when I could. To talk to her as much as I could. The reward has been smiles and coos. I love to see her smile and coo.
We are beginning to work on teaching her to fall asleep on her own. The first night was awful. She wouldn't settle down. We had to go in every five minutes for almost an hour. Last night was better and I am hoping that she will continue to do well with this. I only want the best for her.
I have never leaned on Jesus as much as I have the last month and a half. I think God gave her to us to show me how much I needed Him and to be focused on Him and cling to Him. I am ok with that, too. It is all part of the purification process. Apparently I had a lot more purifying to be done.
It is now a brand new year, a brand new start. I don't like resolutions, nor do I intend to make any. I saw on another blog I follow that she picks a word - I think I will do that. I will figure out a word for my year - one that I can focus on in a positive way. The only other thing I desire for this year is a closer walk with Jesus. Hope you all have a happy and blessed 2015.
In Christ and with love,
Meg
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