Reflection

In this moment of quiet, this moment of solitude, I sit and watch.  Very slowly, very subtly, my belly moves like a wave under my skin.  I am watching our little peanut, our little gift from God.  Part of me is sad…sad that soon this will go away.  Sad that I will no longer get to feel her move inside of me, watch her cute little movements, feel her push on my stomach.  Part of me is sad also for the fact that there will be no more quiet moments…or very few ones.  We are entering the season of babies…of little feet running through the house, laughing, crying, depending on us.  Of course I will have moments of quiet, but we are about to take on a very big calling, a huge responsibility…caring for little ones who will really need us.

 

Part of me is happy – overjoyed.  I feel like a huge elephant at times, and am very much looking forward to having my body back – to being able to hug Dan and not have a big belly in the way.  To getting to meet this little one I have been eagerly anticipating for months…seeing what she looks like, what her personality is like, getting to know a whole new being that God created especially for us. 

Of course I am scared at times, too.  What will this be like? What if I can’t handle it?  But I am sure those are all normal fears, and I know that by leaning on the Lord, He will help us through.  He wouldn’t have given her to us if He didn’t want us to trust Him and lean on Him.

She already makes me chuckle at times – watching her move, feeling her move.  I can tell she loves her daddy – he puts his hand on my stomach and she stops moving.  He talks to her and she moves towards his voice. 

I love her.  I love her little sweetness, and already I can tell that nothing will ever compare to this.  Of course I will love any children God gives us, but there is just something special about the first one. 

As I rub my stomach, and watch her move, I smile.  I feel those little feet move inside of me, and savor each moment.  Waiting, I savor this moment.  Soon I will have other moments to savor, but for now, I will take this one.

  

In Christ and with love,

Meg               

The "WHAT?! I'm going to be a MOM?!" Post

Well...so much for blogging more often!  I guess no one should be expecting this to happen more often, as our little sweet pea will be making an appearance sometime in the next few weeks...then life will really get busy!

I had always thought I didn't want to know the gender of the baby when I was going to end up having kids, but we did decide to find out.  (Dan didn't care either way haha!)  So we found out baby is a girl!  And let me tell you - she loves to move!  A lot.  Which is not surprising, since Dan and I are very busy, active people.  But it will be interesting to see what she is like when she arrives.  We are also not all about the pink.  The room is a light green color, and we are going with chocolate brown, oranges, yellows, greens, blues...some red...And most of the clothes that I have gotten for her are not pink.  Yes, there is some pink, but most of the colors are blues, purples, reds, greens, yellows...I love color, so I guess it makes sense I would pick stuff that is a variety.  We are keeping her name a secret for sure though. :)

 

I am very excited to meet her.  Being pregnant hasn't been that bad - I have had a pretty easy pregnancy compared to others.  However, there are things that I am looking forward to being done with.  Like the fact that I have a giant belly (Or anyway I feel like I do).  The fact that I can't drink coffee without feeling like I am either going to pass out from an anxiety attack or like I am going to throw up.  Caffeine is just too much for my body right now (sometime the middle of March some switch flipped in my brain and I wanted nothing to do with coffee).  The fact also that my back starts to hurt really bad after I sit in one spot too long, or sit on something not firm enough for too long, or if I am in the car longer than 30 minutes.  Also, the fact that I am even more sensitive to stuff than I was before - oddly enough, some dairy has been ok, but corn? Corn is like death.  It is all worth it for sure though.  And I am very grateful to God that this has all gone so well.  I honestly never knew what to expect.  This is clearly all God ordained, and He deserves all the praise!!

                                                 (We are funny, huh? This was 25 weeks.) :)                                          

The last week and a half has caught me stopping and thinking to myself, "What?!?...am I really going to be a MOM?!!" at least half a dozen times in a day.  Ironically enough it doesn't seem real half the time.  As if the big belly and kicks from baby don't make it real. Ha.  But this is real.  This little person is going to depend on Dan and I...for a long time. 

Am I ready? Well, let's be honest.  Are you really ever ready for anything??  To get married? Have kids? Start a job??  You may tell yourself you are ready and feel ready, but in all honesty, there is always that air of unknown...so I don't believe you are ever fully ready for anything.  I have days when I am like, "Stay in there for as long as possible".  Then there are other days when I just want her here to see what she is like, what she looks like, and begin to dive into this whole new adventure of parenting.  Sometimes the longer I wonder and think about something, the more I just want it to be over so I can begin to tackle it and start learning!  This is no different.

Life will for sure be different, but I am also looking forward to it.  This little peanut is such a gift from the Lord. 

But wow. I am really going to be a mom.  I think I need to really let that soak in.  Because it's huge. It still doesn't always seem real.  As long as the Lord is with us, we will be ok.  And let me tell you, He is Who we will be leaning on.  For all things.

In Christ and with love,

Meg 

Long Time No Write

I wish I could say that I will do a better job of writing on here more often, but if I try to make that promise then it probably won't happen. 

Life has been crazy but oh so good!!  Dan and I got married on December 21 (thank the good Lord).  Has it been all rosey and perfect?  Of course not.  Two very different people learning to live under the same roof can create challenges.  But overall this has been the best thing I could have ever been blessed with.  Being married is such a gift from God - it purifies you and challenges you, and it is so great to have someone to face life with - even the everyday "boring" things of life.  Someone to pray with, talk to, read the Bible with, laugh, play, work....I love being married.  Especially when your husband is as wonderful as mine. :)

Here are a few pictures from the day :) Everything went smoothly - it was amazing.  People had told me that "something would go wrong" and "not to worry", and I don't think a single thing went wrong.

About a month after we got married, Dan's brother Scott got married in Pennsylvania.  It was so cool to see the difference in weddings in only a month.  Ours was so Christmas themed and theirs was wintry/outdoorsy.  Very cool. :)  We are very happy for Scott and Michelle!!  (Dan really is happy...despite how it looks in the first picture haha).

Currently I am sick with a cold or sinus infection or something.  Dan and I are also excited because we will be having baby #1 sometime in early November!  Ideally we were hoping to wait a bit longer, but God has His plan, and we are excited regardless.  I will also be excited when I feel ok again - haha.  I haven't felt terrible, but have had my ups and downs, and have to be careful what I eat.  Coffee has been out for sure (very sad, and clearly this is Dan's son or daughter because I have no desire to drink coffee).   

Spring is finally here and that makes me happy beyond belief.  I am also so excited to go visit the Cartwrights sometime in the next few weeks.  I miss them a lot!  I will try to check in again sooner rather than later.  :)

In Christ and with love,

Meg