In this moment of quiet, this
moment of solitude, I sit and watch.
Very slowly, very subtly, my belly moves like a wave under my skin. I am watching our little peanut, our little
gift from God. Part of me is sad…sad
that soon this will go away. Sad that I
will no longer get to feel her move inside of me, watch her cute little
movements, feel her push on my stomach.
Part of me is sad also for the fact that there will be no more quiet
moments…or very few ones. We are
entering the season of babies…of little feet running through the house,
laughing, crying, depending on us. Of
course I will have moments of quiet, but we are about to take on a very big
calling, a huge responsibility…caring for little ones who will really need
us.
Part of me is happy – overjoyed. I feel like a huge elephant at times, and am
very much looking forward to having my body back – to being able to hug Dan and
not have a big belly in the way. To
getting to meet this little one I have been eagerly anticipating for months…seeing
what she looks like, what her personality is like, getting to know a whole new
being that God created especially for us.
Of course I am scared at times,
too. What will this be like? What if I
can’t handle it? But I am sure those are
all normal fears, and I know that by leaning on the Lord, He will help us
through. He wouldn’t have given her to
us if He didn’t want us to trust Him and lean on Him.
She already makes me chuckle at
times – watching her move, feeling her move.
I can tell she loves her daddy – he puts his hand on my stomach and she
stops moving. He talks to her and she
moves towards his voice.
I love her. I love her little sweetness, and already I
can tell that nothing will ever compare to this. Of course I will love any children God gives
us, but there is just something special about the first one.
As I rub my stomach, and watch her
move, I smile. I feel those little feet
move inside of me, and savor each moment. Waiting, I savor this moment. Soon I will have other moments to savor, but for now, I will take this
one.
In Christ and with love,
Meg
